There are always some kids in class who seem to get their jollies from cutting class. I've never been able to understand that; if you (or someone) paid for you to go to school, you might as well go and learn something, anything. Having been one of the nerdier kids in class, there were very few times that I skipped on purpose. I occasionally overslept and missed an eight o'clock class, but immediately felt remorse. Even if my body would have protested every minute of class spent depriving myself of sleep. I couldn't imagine skipping just to skip, because I knew I would feel guilty. Where's the pleasure in that?
I've found that the same applies to work. I've called in sick a few times, in my life. I could probably count those instances using just my fingers. (Until this year, I could have counted them on one hand.) Every time, I have been sick enough that I was grateful to spend the day at home, asleep.
But, today, I called in - and feel extremely guilty. Ironically, it's a perfectly excused absence - and I'm going in to make up the time, tomorrow. I woke up to a snowy, messy road. On top of that, the computer system was scheduled to be updated today, meaning that my job capacity for the day was already going to be limited to finishing whatever didn't get done last night... and picking up after people, today. Honestly, had I been my boss, I probably would have delayed opening, just for that.
In any case, between those two conditions, my supervisor had absolutely no problem with me coming in tomorrow - my day off - instead of today. It's actually preferable, probably. I should feel happy. Instead, I feel guilty. Guilt is a funny thing. It's mostly because I was expecting most of my department to also call in today, for the same reasons as I did. But, one of my coworkers is almost always there. She's probably the only one who went in, today. For that, I feel guilty - although I know she won't mind being there by herself. Plus, I don't *really* want to give up my day off, tomorrow. (Although I also have Friday off.)
I guess it's like the book I'm reading (
Bluebird) says at one point, you have to feel entitled to it, to feel happy about something. It's an interesting notion. I just wonder what made those other kids feel so entitled to skipping class...
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